Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Terrible Twos: Avoiding Tantrums

All moms with young kids know what it is like to tell their little one no or it is time to do something they are not ready for and the crying to start. Each child has different things that make them go into a tantrum but when they get there many of us don't know what to do. Lucky for me I got to learn things that worked as a nanny and teacher's aid long before I had Girlygirl. Here are a few of my thoughts about avoiding tantrums.
  1. Give them a warning before it is time to clean up, go to bed or leave the house. Just telling Girlygirl in 5 minutes it is ______ works great. No she doesn't know when the 5 minutes are up but it helps her know that she will have to change what she is doing soon.
  2. Try to keep your days the same most days. When changes will come in let your child know. On days we go out to do something Girlygirl and I talk about it. I am say "Today after we eat we have to get ready. We are going to go shopping today." That way she know we will not play for two or more hours after we eat.
  3. Teach your child as young as you can to be able to play on their own. Don't run to your child every time they start to get mad wait a little bit to see what they will do even as a young baby.
  4. Let your child help you do what you are doing. Girlygirl has a place she can come in the kitchen when I am cooking. If she does I try to find something she can do to help me or just talk to her about what I am doing. She has her own cleaning stuff to help when I clean. Sometimes I feel if she was not helping what I was doing would go faster but then the times I tell her no she ends up getting mad because she loves to be with me or making an other mess I have to clean.
  5. Move your toys around. Even if you don't keep toys to rotate you can move the bed room toys to the living from or even to a new place in the room and the child will like to play with them more.
  6. Don't have tantrums your self. If you get mad and yell when things don't go your way what makes you think your child will not.
  7. Plan things to do each day. Your child will get broad if they are just left to play all day everyday. Some days of just all day free play is good but most days should be broken up with planned things. Bring out the play dough, have them sit at the table and play for at least 15 minutes a day, go outside, go do something, or make a craft just to name a few ideas.
  8. Take time to play with your kids EVERYDAY. If they don't have to be be bad for you to stop what you are doing to talk to them they will enjoy you more.
  9. To do this say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't say I am going to throw you outside if you don't stop yelling because you know you can't do that. Maybe say if you don't stop mom is going to put you in your room because that hurts my ears. Or if you say if you do that again I am going to spank you then when they do spank them. In the same way don't tell you child if they are good at the store you will buy them a candy and then not buy one when they are good or worse buy them one after being bad.
  10. Teach your child your are the boss. We all have bosses in life and for now you are your child's. Tell your child , "I am the Mommy (or daddy or _____) you most listen to me." I have taught Girlygirl I am the boss. Sometimes now all I have to say is "Who is the boss?" Girlygirl will say "Mommy, Daddy". I say "Yes you have to do _____ because I am the boss."
Remember what you teach your child today is the steps to the whole life. I will be talking more about tanturms in the next few weeks. Come back to see my other thoughts.

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