- find a good church that the child will fit in at - We did do this. Sweet dude and I prayed and talk about it before Mr. Man even came. We didn't feel the church we went too would be a place that Mr. Man could fit in at. We knew the church Girlygirl went to AWANA at had a loving and accepting way about them. The kids and I go to church there now.(with Sweet dude being Deaf he stayed at our old church)
- let others help- I have a hard time with this. I feel while they feel they have to or they don't know what they are getting into with this kid. But if others want to love him I need to let the happen. I pray God will teach me to allow more help.
- know it cost a lot of money- teens cost a lot of money. Mr. Man came to me with shoes with holes in them and there was still some snow on the ground. His underwear he brought from home would fit a six year old. So that first week we went out and got him new clothing all he would need. Then there is the meds and the therapy. We did get him on our insurance but still the co-pays add up to a lot each month.
- read about being a parent to a teen- I have not found a good book about how to parent a teen that did not grow up with you. I have been reading Love and Logic for teens. I would say before a teen came to to to read both the first Love and Logic and the teen one. It has been the best way to parent Mr. Man.
- it is not about today- I tell Mr. Man, Sweet Dude and even me "It is not that we are trying to change him as a teenager but that it is our job to make sure he will be the best adult he can be." What I mean is today it maybe hard for all of us but if when he moves out into the world he can make it and understand out the world works then what we did now will have been right.
- pray and pray and pray- it is hard you need to let go and let God. So pray pray pray.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
As those who read this blog often know we add Mr. Man to our family full time four months ago. Life has been hard for all of us. The is so much to learn as we go through this time. We are all new to each other. Life in our home is very different than life back with his mom and sisters. I would not say I have it figured out how to be a mom to a teen with a life that has been so hard but I have started to learn a few things. I had a hard time find things out there to help me when I decide to take Mr. Man in because of that I want to share what I learn a long the way. Here are my tips to other fostering or adopting or raising a friends teenager.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Mr. Man littlest sister stayed with us for the past week. She is with my older sister for the summer. Littlest Sister told me over and over she know my sister and her husband are her friends and loved her because they pray with her and play with her. This is something we needed to remember with our own kids. They just want to be loved and they know they are loved if we pray with them and play with them. Make sure that your kids feel loved by you. Take lots of time to play and pray.