5 Tips to Raising Your Friends Teen

As those who read this blog often know we add Mr. Man to our family full time four months ago. Life has been hard for all of us. The is so much to learn as we go through this time. We are all new to each other. Life in our home is very different than life back with his mom and sisters. I would not say I have it figured out how to be a mom to a teen with a life that has been so hard but I have started to learn a few things. I had a hard time find things out there to help me when I decide to take Mr. Man in because of that I want to share what I learn a long the way. Here are my tips to other fostering or adopting or raising a friends teenager.

• find a good church that the child will fit in at - We did do this. Sweet dude and I prayed and talk about it before Mr. Man even came. We didn't feel the church we went too would be a place that Mr. Man could fit in at. We knew the church Girlygirl went to AWANA at had a loving and accepting way about them. The kids and I go to church there now.(with Sweet dude being Deaf he stayed at our old church)
• let others help- I have a hard time with this. I feel while they feel they have to or they don't know what they are getting into with this kid. But if others want to love him I need to let the happen. I pray God will teach me to allow more help.
• know it cost a lot of money- teens cost a lot of money. Mr. Man came to me with shoes with holes in them and there was still some snow on the ground. His underwear he brought from home would fit a six year old. So that first week we went out and got him new clothing all he would need. Then there is the meds and the therapy. We did get him on our insurance but still the co-pays add up to a lot each month. 
• read about being a parent to a teen- I have not found a good book about how to parent a teen that did not grow up with you. I have been reading Love and Logic for teens. I would say before a teen came to to to read both the first Love and Logic and the teen one. It has been the best way to parent Mr. Man.
• it is not about today- I tell Mr. Man, Sweet Dude and even me "It is not that we are trying to change him as a teenager but that it is our job to make sure he will be the best adult he can be." What I mean is today it maybe hard for all of us but if when he moves out into the world he can make it and understand out the world works then what we did now will have been right. 
• pray and pray and pray- it is hard you need to let go and let God. So pray pray pray.

If you have a teen that did not grow up in our home what were somethings you learned about adding a child that age into your home? If have parented any teen what is you best tip for those who are trying to find there way thought it now?

Pray with them and play with them

Mr. Man littlest sister stayed with us for the past week. She is with my older sister for the summer. Littlest Sister told me over and over she know my sister and her husband are her friends and loved her because they pray with her and play with her. This is something we needed to remember with our own kids. They just want to be loved and they know they are loved if we pray with them and play with them. Make sure that your kids feel loved by you. Take lots of time to play and pray.

Leaving Home with a Plan

When we are out and doing things it is hard for Mr. Man to stay still and not make noises no one wants to hear. I have learned a few things in the last few months about that have worked good for us.

• silly putty- yes you know the stuff. If you where like me you loved it as a kid. It is great it fits in even the smalls purse and both Mr. Man and Girlygirl love to play with it. (maybe even me)
• talk about what he needs to do where we are going. Like if we are going to church he needs to sit and listen. If he wants to do something then take notes, do the children's bulletin or play with putty.
• Give him away out if we out. Sometimes things are too hard for him to do that day. Before going in I let him know what he can do if he can't do what I have asked of him. In church if you can't sit still and be quite he can go to the cry room or walk home (we live very close to church).
• Helping him remember what was asked of him. It is fine if he needs a few reminders of what was asked of him. 
• Be ready to reward good behavior. We do Scobbies. I keep them with me at all times anytime he is good at a place or for sometime he gets one.
• Don't over plan and if you do have a long day plan breaks in it. Even too much fun stuff can make it hard to behave.

Some kids take more planning even for a little day to day stuff in life. Knowing you kid will help you to know how much you need to be ready for. 

Teaching Preschooler about the Bible

Teaching your preschooler about the Bible can be over whelming but we as Christians know we want your children to understand God's truth. Therefore teaching your preschooler about the Bible is important. There are a few things that I have done to teach Girlygirl about God's Word. Helping your preschool memorize Bible verses is easier than I thought. After joining Awana she has taken off. If you never heard Awana of it is a great program. I loved it as a child and now Girlygirl is having a great time in her first year. Girlygirl is doing great at remembering the verses. She even asked to do two in a week. I do few things to help her meet her goal. I have writen them on index cards and taped them on the door frame between our living room and dining room. This helps me see them easly to say them over and over through out the day. At first I say a word Girlygirl repets me. Then later in the week I say 2 to 4 words and Girlygirl repts me. I also turn the verse into a song and sing it with her (sometimes she loves it others she doesn't it.) By the end of the week I just say the first word and can say the whole thing on her own. I think she wouldn't try as hard if wasn't getting a patch for her Awana vest every few weeks. More about teaching your preschool about the Bible in the weeks to come. Today remember to help your child learn the word of God and hide it in their hearts.

Towel Time

In my last posted about things I do to teach Girlygirl to play on her own. Now I wanted to share what towel time looks like in our house and give you some idea of toys to give during this time. Where does towel time happen? Towel happens most often near me, where ever that is that is the great thing about it. This helps me make sure Girlygirl stay there and helps me to get to her fast if she gets of. I do not always stay in the same room but if I am down stairs then she is too if I am up stairs she is too (my house is tiny so it works out good for us). I just tell her we are going to do towel time. She doesn't like it at first some days. The longer it has been the hard it is for her. Should I do towel time with my kids at the same time? This summer when we had my friend's kids living here. Both of the little girls (Girlygirl and Little Sister) like to do towel time. They would do it at the same time often in the same room but not close enough to touch each other. It gave them a break from having to share and deal nicely with other. It also gave me time to have one on one time with one of the big kids also. What does Girlygirl get at towel time? Like I said before she gets a few books, her blanket, and a toy or two (may be a group of toys) What are the toys Girlygirl gets at towel time? There are a lot a different toys I give her. Some I keep put up for this time only others are out all the time and I just think she will like to play them more than she does. When it comes to picking toy pick things you know your child can do on their own and will like to play with. Here is a list of the ones we us most.

• Doll house
• Little People- most often the farm but some time another ones
• blocks-we a a few different kinds to choice from
• Fast food toys- I keep them in a drawer with the other toys and just give her the drawer
• Mr. Potato Head
• puzzles
• stacking cups
• Elmo ( like Mr. Potato head)
• Doodle Pro
• lacing cards
• doll with clothing, food ect.

Girlygirl is the only kid here with me right now and she has learned to play on her own because of this we don't do towel time much. Cheek out what Kimberly said in her post called Multi-level Homeschooling: Little Ones Part 2. It will be hard at first but remember your not in the entertainment business you are their mom and teaching them to depend on themselves from time to time will only help them as they get older. I'd love to hear how towel time or whatever you call it in your homes works so please share in the comments.

Preschools Playing on Own

Before I became a mom I learned that children need to be taught to play. Getting down and playing with your kids is important. Just as important is teaching your child to play on their own. I have done a few things to teach Girlygirl this. I am not good about have a set time for things but we use all these more as needed than daily.

• Towel Time-It is just like it sounds. Girlygirl sits on a towel and plays with toys I have given her. I put a few toys on the towel for her to choice from along with 2 or 3 books and her Nauna (her blanket) I set the time for 10 to 25 min. (I notice more than 25 min is too long).
• Room Time-She plays in her more for 30 min. I put up the baby gate and just let her play. She has about half her toys in her room and a lot of her favorites.
• Table Time-I have blogged about this before. I often start something with her and then let her do it on her own for 5 to 15 min. I will then come back and play with her again.

I even teacher she can do things on her own in our day to day interactions. I am not quick to help her. Even at a young age I would sit back and watch how she would do something I thought was too hard for her. Sometimes she would amaze me at what she could do. Other times she be proud of her work done "wrong". I have many pictures of her trying to put on clothing at 1.5 years old and it is all "wrong" but is was happy to do it herself. Encouraging words when she wants me to do it or if is get frustrated. I often tell her if she tries she can. Sometimes it works and she will do it others she just stops. In Elmo's Potty time the have a song about things being hard when you are learning. I will sign it to her. I also use words to tell her how. We gave her a V Smile for her birthday. It is a little hard for her. I will sit with her and tell her what to do. Like press enter the big orange one. When she does it she knows she can. Teaching your kids to do all they can gives them great self esteem. So let them do things on their own even if they don't like it at first they will. You are teaching them they can play and do things on their own.

Back Pack

I have chosen to teach Girlygirl to be responsible for herself from a young age. One way I have done this is by giver her a toddler size back pack. The whole thing is her responsibility. Before going out she needs to pack it with the right stuff. At this point I still do guide her as she packs her bag. Here is what she has in her bag: • 2 change of pants and underwear • only because she still likely to pee in her pants • 1 change of shirt and socks • 1Subway bag (I save Subway bags for wet clothing when we are out) • 2 toy or toy sets- One stays in her back pack all the time. It is a set of Pooh characters for the Dollar Tree. (It is great fun when wait for food at restaurants or when mom and dad are talk at church.) The other she picks it must fit in her bag. If she picks blocks the she can have 5. (Look for a blog to come soon about great toys to bring when going out) • 1 or 2 books- They change from time to time as Girlygirl chooses. The only rule is it must fit in her bag. • Her wallet which holds her money that she gets each week. • Her special blanket. • Snack -I put one snack in her bag and a cup of ice water It is Girlygirl stuff and therefore her job to hold it. I will help her sometimes but most the time I make her do it.

Mommy!! A Monster!! A Monster!!!

What do you for your little one who is scared for monsters? I have a few idea I have heard over the years and have been thinking about it a lot because Girlygirl is sure that monsters live in the dark.

• a scare light-this is just a flash light to shine and see what is there and scare the monster away.
• monster spray-can be just water or air freshener. I have heard that people make a new label with a monster with an x over him to make it look like it is the real stuff.
• a night light-if they can see what is there it may be less scary.
• a brave toy-with a little boy I baby sat in high school he had a loin that was brave and stayed on his bed to keep in safe. Any toy could work.
• pray-we pray that God will keep her safe and know that God is there with her.

What do you do to keep monsters away from your little on and keep your little one happy at night?

Top 5: Favorite Blogs

1. Preschool and Peace- Written by Kendra who is mom to eight children. I get a lot of encouragement from her. She has great tips to be a mom to young one.
2. The Crafty Crow- A great place to find ideas of thing to make with and for the kids. It is update Monday-Friday with great links.
3. 1+1+1=1 is written by Carisa. This is where I found Tot School which I love and she shares a lot about what her homeschooling life looks likes. She does a great job.
4. Totally Tots has many author and many ideas from its readers.
5. Chasing Cheerios written by Melissa. She shares a lot of great Montessori style ideas. I don't really have a style of teaching yet but I love her ideas and she does a great job of showing and explaining them.

Bonus site it is new blog and I am very excited about it so it may bump it off of my other top 5 soon. Homeschool Bright and Early written by Mother Bear who plans to post each day. I look forward to getting ideas from she. What is you favorite blog about preschoolers (ages 0-5)?

Terrible Twos: Avoiding Tantrums

All moms with young kids know what it is like to tell their little one no or it is time to do something they are not ready for and the crying to start. Each child has different things that make them go into a tantrum but when they get there many of us don't know what to do. Lucky for me I got to learn things that worked as a nanny and teacher's aid long before I had Girlygirl. Here are a few of my thoughts about avoiding tantrums.

1. Give them a warning before it is time to clean up, go to bed or leave the house. Just telling Girlygirl in 5 minutes it is ______ works great. No she doesn't know when the 5 minutes are up but it helps her know that she will have to change what she is doing soon.
2. Try to keep your days the same most days. When changes will come in let your child know. On days we go out to do something Girlygirl and I talk about it. I am say "Today after we eat we have to get ready. We are going to go shopping today." That way she know we will not play for two or more hours after we eat.
3. Teach your child as young as you can to be able to play on their own. Don't run to your child every time they start to get mad wait a little bit to see what they will do even as a young baby.
4. Let your child help you do what you are doing. Girlygirl has a place she can come in the kitchen when I am cooking. If she does I try to find something she can do to help me or just talk to her about what I am doing. She has her own cleaning stuff to help when I clean. Sometimes I feel if she was not helping what I was doing would go faster but then the times I tell her no she ends up getting mad because she loves to be with me or making an other mess I have to clean.
5. Move your toys around. Even if you don't keep toys to rotate you can move the bed room toys to the living from or even to a new place in the room and the child will like to play with them more.
6. Don't have tantrums your self. If you get mad and yell when things don't go your way what makes you think your child will not.
7. Plan things to do each day. Your child will get broad if they are just left to play all day everyday. Some days of just all day free play is good but most days should be broken up with planned things. Bring out the play dough, have them sit at the table and play for at least 15 minutes a day, go outside, go do something, or make a craft just to name a few ideas.
8. Take time to play with your kids EVERYDAY. If they don't have to be be bad for you to stop what you are doing to talk to them they will enjoy you more.
9. To do this say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't say I am going to throw you outside if you don't stop yelling because you know you can't do that. Maybe say if you don't stop mom is going to put you in your room because that hurts my ears. Or if you say if you do that again I am going to spank you then when they do spank them. In the same way don't tell you child if they are good at the store you will buy them a candy and then not buy one when they are good or worse buy them one after being bad.
10. Teach your child your are the boss. We all have bosses in life and for now you are your child's. Tell your child , "I am the Mommy (or daddy or _____) you most listen to me." I have taught Girlygirl I am the boss. Sometimes now all I have to say is "Who is the boss?" Girlygirl will say "Mommy, Daddy". I say "Yes you have to do _____ because I am the boss."

Remember what you teach your child today is the steps to the whole life. I will be talking more about tanturms in the next few weeks. Come back to see my other thoughts.

Allowance at 2

We give Girlygirl an allowance of $2/week. She will get a $1 raise each birthday. The money is not given to her for chores or anything she just gets it. As part of our family she gets money just as Sweet Dude and I both get $10 each week no matter what also. We do make her give 25 cents to savings and 25 cents to church. The other money is her to use as she wants. She doesn't really understand it yet but we like to start now and teach her little by little.

100 Free Things to Do With Kids: 26-50

To keep it going here is 25 more free things to do with your children. Sorry I don't know how to change to numbers.

1. Go to play area at mall
2. go to book store or toy store with a play area
3. watch parade
4. make paper airplane
5. cut a pictures of wants from ads
6. roller skate
7. go to museum free day
8. rake leaves then jump in pile
9. camp in back yard
10. go for a drive in the county or hills
11. get big free box make it to something fun
12. snow ball fight
13. play baseball
14. play football
15. play kickball
16. make up stories
17. dance
18. watch fire works
19. Butterflield open gym-this year starts Jan on Tuesdays-Thursday 12-2
20. do yoga
21. learn new language
22. exercise
23. back yard/living room scavenger hunt
24. bear hunt
25. back yard relay

Remember your children love to play with you so don't let anything keep you from doing it at least from time to time. Enjoy your next fun day with you kids for free and come back to find out the next 50 things.

100 Free Things to Do With Kids: 1-25

After reading some old post on Mommy Savers a great site I just found that is all about great ways to live with the money you got. I am got a great idea for a blog. Here is my first 25 great free things to do with your kids.

1. Go to the Library
2. Read books
3. Rent movie-free from library
4. go to park
5. go on walk
6. make tent with blankets and table better eat lunch in it
7. ride bikes
8. Cosley Zoo
9. Lay in grass and talk nothing to say or kids to young look for pictures in the clouds
10. cook together-try to do it with stuff you have at home
11. play game
12. write letters/make picture for daddy
13. build snowman
14. run in sprinkler-hopefully not same day you build a snowman
15. call a friend to come over for play date
16. trade toys with a friend
17. play tag
18. do each others hair
19. play in the rain
20. play ball with the dog
21. snuggle on couch
22.  fill bag with toys to give away
23. story time
24. picnic at park
25. teach them something new

Come back tomorrow for more of the 100 things. Remember spending time with you kids is one of the best ways to use your time.

I need a Scedule

Over the summer I had my life planned out every minute of everyday I knew what I needed to do. When the Big Kids went home I thought I no longer need that. Well I guess I was wrong. I have been getting nothing done and just living in a funk. So I have learned I need a plan. Even if just a basic one to keep my life moving a long. To do this. I have done a few things. I made a list of jobs for each day Monday-Friday to keep up with the house work. I also got a pocket calender to keep in with me all times. I put sticky note paper in it so I can write done what I need to do. I will keep you updated on how this is working for me. Or if I don't know it is not going to good.

Potty Training: When they don't want to go.

For the first few weeks Girlygirl loved to go to the potty just wasn't sure when she needed to go. Now she knows when she needs to go most the time but she doesn't like to stop what she is doing to go. There are a few things I have done to help her.

1. As I have done from the beginning I keep stickers and a sticker book in the bath room. She doesn't even have to go to get it. If she sits on the potty then she can play with it while she tries to go.
2. I often go in the bathroom with her and read books with her.
3. I have notice that she doesn't want to miss her morning TV. So if after trying to get her to come to the potty she doesn't come I bring her little potty out in front of the TV. I know it maybe bad but it works for us.
4. I give her a choice of using the big potty or little potty.
5. Sometimes I need her to try and she doesn't want to go and crys but that is okay and most the time she still goes and is happy in the end.

You know your child best and if you have to just stop for a week or two and then come back that is fine too. Making potty training work for both you and your child is the only rule there is if you ask me.

Toddler and Discipline

I tell everyone who says that Girlygirl is too good "It is because I am a mean mom." I say it jokingly but it is kind of true in today world. I don't think that Girlygirl should always be happy. I have thought that a child should listen to what I say at every age. The number one way to do this is to make them no matter what. If Girlygirl crys because she doesn't want to pick up what she just threw I make here by taking her hand and help her do it. If she takes her hair bow out I put back it in. If she crys in the car I i stop and have her sit until she is done. I sometime take her out off the car others i get out. Both work. She has learned that I mean what I say. It is not the easy way today but it will pay off big time later.

A family needs team work

Well, we may not really be a family but after having 5 kids all summer I learn a few things. Mom can't do it all. We all have to work together as a team. The silly thing is I knew that but by the end of the Big Kids 6 weeks here I was trying to do it all. Let me tell you I was not very happy nor was I very nice. At the time I didn't see why but now looking at pictures from the first weeks I remember why. A family needs team work. Those first weeks where great this kids work together and got a long. The less I started to expect from them the worse all 5 got. A family needs team work.

Top 5 Bath Toys for Toddlers

Girlygirl's favorite bath toys are not all really bath toys. Here is our top five favorite bath toys.

1. a used sprinkle jar
2. a sand bucket
3. cups the more the better
4. bubbles
5. bath crayons

If you have not yet tried these with your little one you may want to add them to your next bath time. What are your child's favorite bath time toys? update: We have add one more toy to our bath a doll.

Potty Training

We have went to underwater with Girlygirl. We have been using the potty when she wanted for about year now. I like to start let them try when the are young. She wanted to use underwear about 6 months ago but she wasn't ready. Now I say it is time. We will see how it goes. Here are a few potty training tips:

• Start by just letting the get use to the potty. (I do this at 9-12 months) Nothing big just sit on the potty when you do or before the bath. Do this until you ready to train.
• I like to go right to underwear when out. Use rubber pants and bring extra clothing. It is life go with it. I don't like Training Pants because kids know they are diapers. There are time you may want to use them
• I can't stay home all the time so we do go on like normal. Like I said i just bring a change of clothing for when we are out. Make sure to go potty at every stop and more than one time for long stops.
• If you are like me you will forget to bring your child potty when you are home. I use the kitchen timer. We don't always use the the same time. In the morning Girlygirl can go for over 30 min. but after nap it may be every 10 min. Just go with what you think your child needs.
• Find something that makes your child like it. For Girlygirl most the time I can just sing the potty song. "Pee pee in the potty. Pee pee in the potty. Who went pee pee in the potty? Girlygirl went pee pee in the potty. Yepee!!!"
• When she doesn't want to sit we read, sing or she plays with stickers.
• Remember to make it your own. You know your child best and you too. Do what works best for both of you.

Toddler: Starting Table time

Table time is something I learned to do long before I became a mom. I have been a nanny for 3 years and my last Mom/boss had me do it with her girls. The oldest was easy like Girlygirl. I started when she was two and she would sit for over an hour doing whatever you told her to. The younger did not like it much. She started when she was a little over one. I would put her in her high chair with a few toys well I cleaned lunch. It took me 10 min top. For over a month she would cry before the time was up and all the toys would be on the be on the ground. By the age of 2 she could still not do table time for more than 25 min. Just go with your kid and start small and move to more time when you can. Remember you are the boss not your child.