Affordable Birthday Party: Decorations

              I have keep all Girlygirl's birthday parties under $75. Which is at least half of what the party places I have looked into cost. To keep the cost low birthday part affordable I pick a theme early. Girlygirl birthday is not until August and we have just passed the New year and I am already on the look out of good deals on butterfly things for her fifth birthday party. As part of the planning for an affordable birthday I pick everything from the wrapping paper, Girlygirl outfit to the cake to match the theme.

             Finding affordable was to make your party theme starts with thinking outside the box. I always start at home.  Until last year I always picked the theme past on what toys Girlygirl had the most of. Doing this made it easy to decorate with little cost out of my pocket. Even if you don't use the toys to pick the theme look around and see what you have to match the theme in your home. This could be toys or a decoration. After you found what you have at home keep an eye out for other things to match you theme. I have picked up things at garage sales to bring out the theme and they are often toys so it is a win-win plus cheep. One year I found Dora fabric on sale for ninety-nine cents a yard, it made a great table cloth. After the party I gave to Girlygirl to us as a blanket for her dolls. If your child has clothing to match the theme have them wear it.  Knowing the theme early you can make gifts double as future party supplies. If you know you need a cake topper why not put a plastic toy to match the theme in your child's Easter basket or stocking. Or when shopping for new clothing pick up a shirt to go with the theme. It is easy to have an affordable birthday party with thinking outside the box.

            Once you have done all you can to think outside the box start hunt of party supplies that don't cost too much. Finding affordable wrapping paper to match the theme is one of the hard things to do. I did find Princess gift bags for fifty cents each and pick them up not know if Girlygirl would ever have a princess birthday and when she had her pink castle party I used those. One year I was lucky to find Sesame Street wrapping paper at a dollar store.  If you can't find wrapping paper for a good deal to match the theme try to pick colors that go with your theme.  The other thing I have done is add party stores and the lisle to my shopping trips. You never know what will be on close out at these stores. I once got hats, palates, cups, napkins, etc to match the theme and didn't pay more than eighty-two cent for any of it.  Keeping your eye out is not hard to do and can save you a ton of money.
              When I can't the thing I want for something I just make it. Children don't care what it looks like. Most of Girlygirl party games have been homemade. From just coloring pages to pin the peck on Big Bird to help Dora find Backpack. Homemade cakes are a lot cheep than store bought cake. I have been lucky to have a sister who loves to make fancy cakes. If you don't have someone to make one a box cake with small toy and Happy Birthday written on top is not much less the the stores do for a huge savings. With a little thought and look around the Internet you can come up with great things.
                  I had great backyard parties growing up. I have decided to keep with the same fun affordable backyard birthday parties for Girlygirl. Keeping everything at home doesn't always mean you you will have an affordable birthday but with a little planning you can have a party that doesn't break the bank.

A souvenir on a budget

We all love to get things when we go on a trip. I know I do and so does Girlygirl. When we where moving here from Illinois a few months back, we made a game out of finding post cards. Girlygirl loved it. She loved pick out just the right one at the gas stations and looking at them when back in the truck. We put those in a journal my mom wrote for her about the trip I am sure she will love it for years to come. Now when on the road Girlygirl is on the look out for post cards. We do get them for her. We got a cheep photo album and she puts them in there. At night she often looks at them in her bed. At Christmas time we took a trip and she jump for joy when she found the post card she wanted. It is great way to get your child something cheep to help them look back on the family fun. What do you do to help your child remember our family fun?

5 Tips to Raising Your Friends Teen

As those who read this blog often know we add Mr. Man to our family full time four months ago. Life has been hard for all of us. The is so much to learn as we go through this time. We are all new to each other. Life in our home is very different than life back with his mom and sisters. I would not say I have it figured out how to be a mom to a teen with a life that has been so hard but I have started to learn a few things. I had a hard time find things out there to help me when I decide to take Mr. Man in because of that I want to share what I learn a long the way. Here are my tips to other fostering or adopting or raising a friends teenager.

• find a good church that the child will fit in at - We did do this. Sweet dude and I prayed and talk about it before Mr. Man even came. We didn't feel the church we went too would be a place that Mr. Man could fit in at. We knew the church Girlygirl went to AWANA at had a loving and accepting way about them. The kids and I go to church there now.(with Sweet dude being Deaf he stayed at our old church)
• let others help- I have a hard time with this. I feel while they feel they have to or they don't know what they are getting into with this kid. But if others want to love him I need to let the happen. I pray God will teach me to allow more help.
• know it cost a lot of money- teens cost a lot of money. Mr. Man came to me with shoes with holes in them and there was still some snow on the ground. His underwear he brought from home would fit a six year old. So that first week we went out and got him new clothing all he would need. Then there is the meds and the therapy. We did get him on our insurance but still the co-pays add up to a lot each month. 
• read about being a parent to a teen- I have not found a good book about how to parent a teen that did not grow up with you. I have been reading Love and Logic for teens. I would say before a teen came to to to read both the first Love and Logic and the teen one. It has been the best way to parent Mr. Man.
• it is not about today- I tell Mr. Man, Sweet Dude and even me "It is not that we are trying to change him as a teenager but that it is our job to make sure he will be the best adult he can be." What I mean is today it maybe hard for all of us but if when he moves out into the world he can make it and understand out the world works then what we did now will have been right. 
• pray and pray and pray- it is hard you need to let go and let God. So pray pray pray.

If you have a teen that did not grow up in our home what were somethings you learned about adding a child that age into your home? If have parented any teen what is you best tip for those who are trying to find there way thought it now?

Pray with them and play with them

Mr. Man littlest sister stayed with us for the past week. She is with my older sister for the summer. Littlest Sister told me over and over she know my sister and her husband are her friends and loved her because they pray with her and play with her. This is something we needed to remember with our own kids. They just want to be loved and they know they are loved if we pray with them and play with them. Make sure that your kids feel loved by you. Take lots of time to play and pray.

Leaving Home with a Plan

When we are out and doing things it is hard for Mr. Man to stay still and not make noises no one wants to hear. I have learned a few things in the last few months about that have worked good for us.

• silly putty- yes you know the stuff. If you where like me you loved it as a kid. It is great it fits in even the smalls purse and both Mr. Man and Girlygirl love to play with it. (maybe even me)
• talk about what he needs to do where we are going. Like if we are going to church he needs to sit and listen. If he wants to do something then take notes, do the children's bulletin or play with putty.
• Give him away out if we out. Sometimes things are too hard for him to do that day. Before going in I let him know what he can do if he can't do what I have asked of him. In church if you can't sit still and be quite he can go to the cry room or walk home (we live very close to church).
• Helping him remember what was asked of him. It is fine if he needs a few reminders of what was asked of him. 
• Be ready to reward good behavior. We do Scobbies. I keep them with me at all times anytime he is good at a place or for sometime he gets one.
• Don't over plan and if you do have a long day plan breaks in it. Even too much fun stuff can make it hard to behave.

Some kids take more planning even for a little day to day stuff in life. Knowing you kid will help you to know how much you need to be ready for. 

Postive Parenting / Discipline without punishment: Scoobies

      Getting the wanted behavior out of any child is hard. I harder to get a child who has learned the only bad thing you can do is make others mad. Mr. Man had learned many co-oping skills to help him not make others mad most of which are not that great. This has cause Mr. Man to not understand that doing things wrong is what make others mad. We get in trouble at my house not based on how mad I am but what you did wrong. The more things you do in an acceptable manner the more fun you get to have. If you don't do your home work or good in school then life is not very fun. Mr. Man has I hard time understanding that. So when he told me about Scoobies I jump at trying to use them with him. It is a great idea that a counselor he and his mom saw back home tried to start with them a few years ago. Now living here we are using it.
      What are Scoobies? The name is made up by Mr. Man. They are just Nylon Weaving Loops  (used for crafts) giving to Mr. Man for good behavior. They are used to show Mr. Man good behavior earns him more fun. They work as a visual way to say when I like when you do this now you can do what you like too. We do this as a positive why to teach. You could use anything or call it anything you want. This is what works for us.
    Why it works great? By naming it Mr. Man feels he owns it. He is proud of it and tells everyone he meets about them. I like it because they are easy to carry with me. I often keep some on my arm.
   How does he earn them? I talked to the school his first week here and they give him a chance to earn them for each class. Mr. Man has a paper that his teacher each circle yes or no on and sign. It has made him want to behave at school to get them. At home he gets them for doing all his morning and bed time stuff on his own without whining or having to be told. Also for things like behaving like a 14 year old in the store, helping with Girlygirl when asked, doing chores or anytime he is caught being good.
   What does he do with all the Scoobies he earns? Sweetdude and I came up with a plan of things he can do with them. From TV time to outing with us or friends. I will post soon a list of all we do.

      ***Remember to find what works for your family and do that until it is not working any more***

   Please feel free to ask questions if you want to know more or my opinion on anything. I will be a post about it soon.

Raising a Friends Child

Well, I have had Mr. Man living with me for about a month. Wow time flies. We have good days and bad. What I have the hard time with is not fitting into any boxes. We are not foster care or an apoted parent. Nor have we raised him for the first fourteen years or are we his only parents. I am a glenner of inforamtion. I great at listen or reading what other people have to say and finding was to make it work for me and those around me. I have not been able to find any books on raising a friends kid. How do you blance the reltionship they have with you and with their parents? How do you reguide them at the same time teach them to love their real parents.  I all I can do is take this one day at a time. I learn more of what to do everyday.  So far I have learn Six things.

1. Understand their past- Each child's past will be different but if you know their past you will know how to help them better.
2. Don't think the parents will help- I have gotten little to no help with money, ideas on ways to help them, or with any questions you may have. I am on a island and I know there is information out there but I can't swim to it.
3. Listen to hidden fears/answers- I have learned Mr. Man shuts down if someone is mad at him. Yelling at him or even raising your voice a little it is all over. He loses all control and everyone around will see it. I learn this by his words each time he does something wrong. Anytime he thinks someone is mad or may get mad at him; He say over and over "Please don't be at at me". It is important with all kids to look for the hiden  answers. Please remember each child will be different.
4. They need time- They need time to heal and understand what is going on. They need you time to be a listening ear, guide, someone to play with, and most of all they need your time to parent them in a new way.
5. If you can make room in your heart you can make room in your house.- My house without using the basement as living space is less than 1,000 square feet. With the basement that we now us for two bed rooms it is not much more than 1,000 square feet. 
6. Reward Reward Reward-Each time Mr. Man does something good I make sure he know I a happy are reward them. Kids who come from a hard life often missed out on this.

I am blessed to have Mr. Man and I hope that God will use me for big things in this young man's life. If you are a guardian of you friends or family child remember more than anything they need love.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Movie Review: Gigi's Big Break

I joined Book Sneeze to review books and stuff. I wasn't sure I'd find anything I'd want to review but with in the first week I found a Gigi movie. I knew we loved to other Gigi movie we have as well as the book; so I look forward to getting Gigi's Big Break . It has two 2 stories in it. White Lies is about a lie Gigi told and how it grew and made her felt after each lie. This one was a little over Girlygirl's head and she didn't get that what Gigi was tell was a lie. The Pink Surprise talks about the good and bad parts of have a baby in your house. Girlygirl loved it she wants a baby bother or sister so bad.  When the movie was over she said "Again! Again! That my favorite."
You can find Gigi's Big Break on amazon for $13.49. If you have not heard of Gigi I would reccommand them. Though White Lies was over Girlygirl head I love how it shows a Christian family. So Gigi's Big Break get a 4 out of 5.

A New Blessing from God

God has blessed my family much. We have a house just big enough for my family. We fit in just perfect. All our bills our paid and we never go with out food. That is more to say than a lot of people. We also have a daughter who loves God at the tender age of three. She has more than she could ever what. More than that we have been able to take three kids great kids each summer. Now because of things I will not talk about right now. We are going to have Mr. Man the oldest of the three come stay with us for a year or two. We look forward to the joy and learning that will happen for our whole family as we add a fourteen year old boy to our family.  We are counting to the days until March 20th as this is the day he will come. I look forward to sharing what I learn from this great young man. Remember all God has given you and share what you can with others.

A Christian Wife: It is all about them

There were days I felt lots in the craziness of being a wife and mom. I felt that I needed more. I needed someone to meet my wants. I want to sit around and do nothing after work. I wanted to be able to be worry free and tell some else to clean the house. I wanted to have Sweet Dude fix everything for me and make me happy. I wanted it to be all about me. Then I read Proverbs 14:1 A wise women strengthens her family but a foolish women destroys hers by what she does. Then it hit me. I need to be a women who cares for her family more than myself. I need to be a women who does things t o bring her family together. If that means I do the cleaning and being the one worrying and my wants don't always get meet; so be it. I need to trust God. He made me the wife the glue to keep my family together. I have seen families fall part because the women wasn't the glue. I don't want that to happen to family. So as I say I need to be the glue or as it is in Proverbs I need to strengthen my family everyday. What are some ways we can strengthen our families?

Goals Update for Feburary

This month I was sick and didn't do much of anything. First I puled a muscle which hurt so bad I went to the doctor. I was told to rest. That got better and then I went and got a cold. Yeah for me:(. Any how here is my update

1. I want my house to be cleaner today than yesterday. I chose to word it this way because it will be easy to succeed. If I tell myself I need to clean a lot I do nothing but if I start small most often I will clean more. Most days my house was about the same as yesterday. Not much cleaner and some days much messier. I need to do some real cleaning now that I am feeling better.
2. Join Bible Study. After moving from California I have gotten farther and farther away from God. So finding a good Bible study I thought would be a good step in getting close to God again. I love Coffee Break and though I missed this week I can't wait to go next week.
3. Read though the Bible this year. I have a great book called the Life Journal that I am using. I started at the end of last year. What a blessing reading the Bible with a guide has been. This is one thing I keep up great with.
4. Teach Girlygirl more. I do a lot with Girlygirl but after my summer kids left this last summer. I got very sad after hearing more of their story back home and not having a choice but to send them back there. Well, you can see I did no Tot School this month but Girlygirl did lots of learning. She loves to write letters (through hard for her), cutting and gluing. We read a lot because I didn't want to move around much. I hope to do much better on this in March.
5. Help Mr. Man learn how to live a productive live. This is a new one. I will post soon about Mr. Man but he is coming to live with me. His home life has been hard for him. I got the paper to sign him up for school. I have also read some books about teens and how to help children in school. He will come here this month so the real work will begin.

Here is to a new month and doing better. Now time to get up and make it all happen.